I've been back in the states for about 2 hours now. For those of you who weren't aware I've spent the last 8 days out of the country, in Ecuador. I didn't journal. I haven't yet shared the story with anyone. I figured I would share the rawest of it before I had the chance to do otherwise. Know that each post will recap a few days at most.
I woke up at 5 am April 1st. Double checked my list of things needed, enjoyed the last nice shower I would have for a week, and drove to the church building to meet the other 29 who would join me. Some of us were tired, but all of us excited.
We prayed together and took off to the airport. At this point I could already get a general idea of how this group would interact on the trip. A few of the girls had a lot of encouraging energy, some were quiet and later proved to have willing hands to serve. To be incredibly vulnerable, I've always had a difficult time in groups of people, mostly when I'm faced with the last group of people that were on the trip. There are some of us who are just social adept.
Girls with pretty everything and funny stories that seem to be always happy and you tend to really compare yourself to them. You may even convince yourself they think they're better than you (or everyone). I had spent a lot of time with one of these girls on the trip last year and found just how wrong I was about her. She ended up being the sweetest most caring girl and we actually built a solid friendship. It's not that I think less of them, but there's so much jealousy that crowds my heart sometimes around them that I, and many of us, begin to be bitter. We begin to compare ourselves and think maybe the way we are isn't good enough, after all everyone loves them so much.
This was the first trial I was faced with on the trip.
When in the St. Louis airport, while we were all checking our luggage, Kim realized her passport was expired. We lost one member of our team of 29 people, and a woman with such great heart! I can't imagine what the trip would have looked like with her, but it was amazing to see God's sovereignty in the situation. I knew it was so hard for her not to come with us and see her brother and sister and "waste" all she had been preparing for. It was amazing to see later that she may be able to come back in the summer on her own, which truly may be even more of a blessing to her in the long run.
1 hour and 30 minutes after taking off in St. Louis, we landed in Atlanta, Georgia with a 4 hour layover in store. This ended up being a good time to brush up on Spanish, get to know one another, and be goofballs together. We all had a meal together and afterwards played spoons and swapped some stories.
Still the other trial looked me straight in the eye right before takeoff. Confidence has always been an issue for me, like every other girl in the world. In the course of 5 minutes, all of my confidence was crushed by the people I loved most. My humor and my Spanish skills were both challenged and I began to feel, "Why am I even on this trip?". I could feel the tug of the enemy that is so familiar to my heart. I began to feel self pity, anger, and loneliness exceedingly. I had almost decided not to bring up what I was feeling to the friends who had hurt me, after all they didn't mean to hurt my feelings, and maybe I was just being overdramatic. I just need to get over it.
Thus surfaced my second trial.
Out of grace, the Lord shook me and showed me that the longer I held in how I felt, the more I would ruin the relationships around me. It's never better to just "get over it". I confronted my friend and she quickly apologized and everything was just fine. But the lesson I learned was so deep. I'd later be tested on the same principle multiple times throughout the trip. In vulnerability, I'm still learning to actively confront the people I love and not hide my emotion from them
Six hours came and went on the plan to Quito. We had the joy of watching a movie on the international flight. I began to see that the relationship I was building with Erin was becoming promising. I could see that she was beginning to confide in me and lean on me in small ways which was such a blessing. Erin is Maria's sister; for those of you who don't know, Maria and Matt Hawn have traveled from our church to stay with the missionaries in Quito, Steve and Sandi. It was crazy to see what would come of this relationship later on the trip.
So was the first day. We arrived in Quito around... late, took a bus to Lasso and stayed the night. We woke up early ready to head to the jungle, where we would be helping build a church plant in Santa Ana.
This I will share with you in the next post, as there is so much to tell.
Thanks so much to all of you who prayed and gave support, whether financially or emotionally. You all have no clue how much this means to me, without you I would not have had an amazing experience that I will remember for ever, that changed my heart, and that I now get to share with so many.
Thank you,
Chelsy.
I woke up at 5 am April 1st. Double checked my list of things needed, enjoyed the last nice shower I would have for a week, and drove to the church building to meet the other 29 who would join me. Some of us were tired, but all of us excited.
We prayed together and took off to the airport. At this point I could already get a general idea of how this group would interact on the trip. A few of the girls had a lot of encouraging energy, some were quiet and later proved to have willing hands to serve. To be incredibly vulnerable, I've always had a difficult time in groups of people, mostly when I'm faced with the last group of people that were on the trip. There are some of us who are just social adept.
Girls with pretty everything and funny stories that seem to be always happy and you tend to really compare yourself to them. You may even convince yourself they think they're better than you (or everyone). I had spent a lot of time with one of these girls on the trip last year and found just how wrong I was about her. She ended up being the sweetest most caring girl and we actually built a solid friendship. It's not that I think less of them, but there's so much jealousy that crowds my heart sometimes around them that I, and many of us, begin to be bitter. We begin to compare ourselves and think maybe the way we are isn't good enough, after all everyone loves them so much.
This was the first trial I was faced with on the trip.
When in the St. Louis airport, while we were all checking our luggage, Kim realized her passport was expired. We lost one member of our team of 29 people, and a woman with such great heart! I can't imagine what the trip would have looked like with her, but it was amazing to see God's sovereignty in the situation. I knew it was so hard for her not to come with us and see her brother and sister and "waste" all she had been preparing for. It was amazing to see later that she may be able to come back in the summer on her own, which truly may be even more of a blessing to her in the long run.
1 hour and 30 minutes after taking off in St. Louis, we landed in Atlanta, Georgia with a 4 hour layover in store. This ended up being a good time to brush up on Spanish, get to know one another, and be goofballs together. We all had a meal together and afterwards played spoons and swapped some stories.
Still the other trial looked me straight in the eye right before takeoff. Confidence has always been an issue for me, like every other girl in the world. In the course of 5 minutes, all of my confidence was crushed by the people I loved most. My humor and my Spanish skills were both challenged and I began to feel, "Why am I even on this trip?". I could feel the tug of the enemy that is so familiar to my heart. I began to feel self pity, anger, and loneliness exceedingly. I had almost decided not to bring up what I was feeling to the friends who had hurt me, after all they didn't mean to hurt my feelings, and maybe I was just being overdramatic. I just need to get over it.
Thus surfaced my second trial.
Out of grace, the Lord shook me and showed me that the longer I held in how I felt, the more I would ruin the relationships around me. It's never better to just "get over it". I confronted my friend and she quickly apologized and everything was just fine. But the lesson I learned was so deep. I'd later be tested on the same principle multiple times throughout the trip. In vulnerability, I'm still learning to actively confront the people I love and not hide my emotion from them
Six hours came and went on the plan to Quito. We had the joy of watching a movie on the international flight. I began to see that the relationship I was building with Erin was becoming promising. I could see that she was beginning to confide in me and lean on me in small ways which was such a blessing. Erin is Maria's sister; for those of you who don't know, Maria and Matt Hawn have traveled from our church to stay with the missionaries in Quito, Steve and Sandi. It was crazy to see what would come of this relationship later on the trip.
So was the first day. We arrived in Quito around... late, took a bus to Lasso and stayed the night. We woke up early ready to head to the jungle, where we would be helping build a church plant in Santa Ana.
This I will share with you in the next post, as there is so much to tell.
Thanks so much to all of you who prayed and gave support, whether financially or emotionally. You all have no clue how much this means to me, without you I would not have had an amazing experience that I will remember for ever, that changed my heart, and that I now get to share with so many.
Thank you,
Chelsy.
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